Waiting

This is where I am. I'm in this despicable place waiting for something to happen.

I'm just waiting.

Waiting for the right connection to get me an actual interview in the field I spend 7 years working towards.

Waiting for an interview to lead to an actual teaching job.

Waiting for MY classroom.

Waiting for a place to belong.

Waiting for a space of my own.

Waiting to know if this is it.

Waiting for the sub jobs to come.

Waiting for fall.

Waiting for Halloween.

Waiting for a text to make me smile.

Waiting for the next time I'll feel butterflies.

Waiting to know if he's all in.

Waiting to know if the biggest mistake of my life is finally laid to rest.

Waiting to know if I'm headed in the right direction.

Waiting to know if tomorrow will be better than today.

Waiting to know if I can really stand behind my decisions.

Waiting to know if the decision is the right one.

You see I'm waiting, but it's ok because there are also the things that I know and the things I know help me to deal with the things I'm waiting on.

I know that MY classroom is out there somewhere.

I know that I do belong somewhere.

I know that with a little more hard work and sacrifice I'll have my space.

I know that the sub jobs will come, and I love subbing.

I know that fall is just around the corner.

I know that Halloween is only 37 days away.

I know that the text will come, eventually.

I know that the next time I see him, there will be butterflies.

I know that he's in and that's something.

I know that for all the stress in my life that I'm happy, healthy, safe and loved and for now that's enough. It's enough to balance out a lot of those things I'm waiting on.