A day lost

Ok so I've decided that yesterday just needed to happen. I know as crazy as that sounds for those of you who heard where the day went from there (mind you I posted at 1 in the afternoon). Yes, yesterday was a horrible, rotten, terrible no good day. But today is better! Thanks to the amazing support of Kirsten I got to sleep through PE this morning with no, ok very little, guilt and although I'm still a bit groggy I feel much better. I think that I realize now that I just took on a bit much at the wrong time of the term and I should have known better than that. I guess I never thought that they would schedule me for so many hours as a newbie. All of the crap that was happening at work with my boss is taken care of too. I now just need to get through the term and I'll be one happy chick! I've decided that there's just been a lot changing in my life and need to adapt to those changes and be ready to move on with my life, no matter what comes my way. Thanks for the advice that you all left, I appreciate it. I think I'll keep posting too, at least once a week, maybe more. I like writing and it's a whole lot quicker when I just type up what it is that I'm thinking about versus trying to hand write it out in a journal. Even though sometimes it's more fun to hand write everything out. Ok well I'm off to Math class now. See y'all later :)

Cara

Life in Hell!

You know me, I'm not the type of person to just want to give up. But I have never had to fight the urge to disappear so hard in my life. I feel like I'm having a complete mental break down. I never thought that a simple job as a checker at a grocery store could cause such turmoil in life. I feel as if I'm fighting my way through a crowd that never ends. To top it off I feel like I'm being a brat and cannot control my emotions. I feel like I'm letting everyone down by not giving more than I have to this term. I seriously felt as if I'm failing for the first time as a student. What's more is that I have only and hour and a half and what am I doing with that precious time? I'm blogging, but why, ok so it's because I can't stand to think about these things for one more minute and I'm hoping that by writing it all down here, and doing what my father asked me to do in the first place (share what's going on in my life with those who want to know) I'll be able to do what I need to do to get through the day. The biggest problem here is that for the last four days I've been telling myself I just need to get through Monday morning and get my reading log turned in to Artman. GOD I HATE THAT CLASS!!!! But no here I am now after writing and math and I'm back where I started, in the state of just let me get through this. I honestly don't know how much more I can take of all of this. This is truly the worst term of my life! I'd take the term I failed math over this. I'm finally starting to calm down now, but go to work? are you kidding, yay I get to put on a fake smile and pretend that I actually care about the people I see! Ok so now that I've used 16 of my precious minutes I better go take a shower! Yes is 115 and I still have not had time to shower.