Today while talking with someone I made the comment that I am happier now than I have been in the last few years. It made me stop and think. I am. We all have moments when we are down. But in the grand scheme of things... I'm happy. A couple of weeks ago I posted on FB "Today I expressed aloud a hope for my future that I have not expressed in quite some time. My problem is the years are just ticking by...this is supposed to be my future." It made a couple of people worry I suppose, they thought something was wrong. It's not that there was something wrong, it was that I had finally realized that I had stopped hoping for my future. I had become resigned in my present. I don't know what my future holds, but I hope there's the kind of love in it that I saw between my grandparents growing up and that I see now in my best friend and her husband. So, yes, I'm looking forward. Learning to balance the hope for that love and the disappointment of realizing that I don't have it yet.
