Professionally I feel pretty much the same as I've felt for the last 5 years. Drowning in a sea of uncertainty. Who knows where I'll be in 2 months. Hopefully gearing up for a move to somewhere where I've been offered a position.
Physically I'm maintaining, but not entirely happy with myself. I've been using every excuse imaginable to not go to the gym. It's not even part of my thought process most days.
Emotionally... well I'm a mess. The whys behind it though are the complicated part. There used to be something that I was able to do... pretty much at a moments notice and while it's been missing for a few years, I've noticed in the past few weeks just how much I miss it. Not to mention some outside negativity that I've been having a really hard time listening to. I mean I get that we don't live in a world where everything is peaches and cream, but seriously, listen to yourself talk. Stuff happens, things come up and people get busy. We can't take those things personally. At one point I thought I had one aspect all figured out...but then the situation changed and now I'm right back where I started.
Today my headspace has been completely toxic. While owning up to how I'm truly doing usually makes me feel better... there's so sense of satisfaction as I conclude this post...
