Waiting

This is where I am. I'm in this despicable place waiting for something to happen.

I'm just waiting.

Waiting for the right connection to get me an actual interview in the field I spend 7 years working towards.

Waiting for an interview to lead to an actual teaching job.

Waiting for MY classroom.

Waiting for a place to belong.

Waiting for a space of my own.

Waiting to know if this is it.

Waiting for the sub jobs to come.

Waiting for fall.

Waiting for Halloween.

Waiting for a text to make me smile.

Waiting for the next time I'll feel butterflies.

Waiting to know if he's all in.

Waiting to know if the biggest mistake of my life is finally laid to rest.

Waiting to know if I'm headed in the right direction.

Waiting to know if tomorrow will be better than today.

Waiting to know if I can really stand behind my decisions.

Waiting to know if the decision is the right one.

You see I'm waiting, but it's ok because there are also the things that I know and the things I know help me to deal with the things I'm waiting on.

I know that MY classroom is out there somewhere.

I know that I do belong somewhere.

I know that with a little more hard work and sacrifice I'll have my space.

I know that the sub jobs will come, and I love subbing.

I know that fall is just around the corner.

I know that Halloween is only 37 days away.

I know that the text will come, eventually.

I know that the next time I see him, there will be butterflies.

I know that he's in and that's something.

I know that for all the stress in my life that I'm happy, healthy, safe and loved and for now that's enough. It's enough to balance out a lot of those things I'm waiting on.

I'm ready!

There are so many things that I'm ready for I don't know where to begin.

I'm ready to take life by the reins.

I'm not sure yet how I'm going to do this... but I've got some ideas... just gotta get them going.

I'm ready for love.

Not sure that there's much I can do here... work on not being timid maybe...

I'm ready for Grad School.

This is one that I don't have to work on, unless you count actually being there. It's one ball in full motion!

I'm ready for a place of my own.

This is another one that I don't have control over. Best bet, work on building up that savings account!

I'm ready for motivation.

Not that I ever expect to look like this, but I know that I have to dig down deep or I'm going to spiral out of control.

More than anything, I'm ready for

More life! More love! More happiness!