What is a teacher?

What is a teacher? Is she four walls? books? pencils? Is she the curriculum? desks? chairs? Is she her students? I don't know that I know that answer anymore. Today the ground that finally felt somewhat solid turned to quicksand with 5 words. "I'm moving you to KG." I feel like I instantly went into survival mode. I just kept thinking, "This isn't happening." I walked around trying to wrap my head around it. Thinking, not of where I was headed, but what I was leaving behind.

I know that I'm capable of teaching these 4 year olds. That's not actually what's causing me most of the problems. What's causing me the most problems is the heartache of leaving behind 9 amazing students.

There's SM with her amazing personality! She is super smart and is always ready to help and has her work done before most of the others. I would be lying if I said she wasn't my favorite... Then there's B who makes me laugh! He's always ready for the next thing and knows exactly what I want to happen. K with her ridiculous dress, she wears it over a full uniform! SA with her quiet little voice... unless of course she's speaking Arabic, then she is one of my loudest! I just realized that I have the most to say about my four students who sit together! haha that's pretty funny if you ask me.

It was with a very heavy heart today that I spent my last hour of work moving their desks to their new classrooms. I feel like they were stolen from me. I mean we all know that I have attachment issues...

Here's what I leave behind. It was the worst feeling. Like I had failed. I don't think my feelings really have much to do with my ability to work in KG2...It's about leaving behind my first class that was 100% mine. There is no second first class. There's just the one. And to know that I wont get to watch them grow and learn is heartbreaking. My heart literally broke today for all the firsts I will miss and the fact that I have no control over it. 

Goodbye G2C, I'll miss all 9 of you even though you'll be just up the stairs, you might as well be in a whole different country.

I don't know if I'll stay past Christmas break. I've even looked at tickets and I've got a job to return to, though it's a step backwards. There are only a few things keeping me here, one of which is possibly a cop out. The real thing that's keeping me here is the fact that I'm not a quitter. I don't know how long I'll allow myself to be pushed around (yes, I that's how I feel), only time can tell. But I know one thing for sure... I know longer know what a teacher is... I sure don't feel like one anymore.

37 Weeks until I'm free to come home!

Eid Mubarak Break

So here I thought I was going to spend my entire Eid break sitting in my room, or chilling by the pool, but instead I just spent most of my break that way. Leigh made a great proposal and invited me to come to Abu Dhabi with her. So the two of us and Jane and Harry piled in the car and headed out.

Leigh and I had a whole list of things that we needed/wanted to get or to do. On the top of the list was a good burger! So we headed straight for Central Station. A burger place with only like 5 things on the menu! I got a burger and sweet potato fries! It was SO good! We also met up with a friend who works in MZ for lunch, which was a bonus!

On our long list of places we wanted to go was a bookstore... for those of you back home you should know that their idea of a bookstore is nothing like ours... this particular store had only a few rows of books and electronics, craft supplies, school supplies, office supplies and I'm sure there were other areas I didn't look at. I got a few things that I needed for the classroom and we checked one thing off our list. We decided to wander around the mall that the bookstore was in and I learned something new that I might just be obsessed with! It's called the "travelator" it's like an escalator without the steps! They're VERY popular here!

The Travelator

Over the next two days we went to a couple different malls, and YAS island to IKEA! I picked up a new pair of shoes, some more supplies for my classroom, a handful of new tops/under shirts and I even got some cheddar and sour cream ruffles! Oh and some strawberries from california... but they looked and tasted more like Hoods to me!

The right side view from the hotel room.

We joined back up with Harry and Jane and stopped by yet another mall on our way back to Ghayathi. I was able to find a couple more things to add to my growing purchase pile before we made it home! The remainder of the break has been spent catching up on TV, reading and relaxing... Too bad we head back to work on Sunday... 

One of my new tops and a happy girl to be back in my own room!

For the record I've started a Flickr account to keep a photo log of my time here... if you'd like to have more information please email me @ CnStars23@gmail.com and I'll get you the info you need! Thanks for reading!

An Emirati Wedding

A few weeks ago I learned that one of the staff members at the school was getting married. The more I heard the more intrigued I was by the whole thing. She was to be his second wife and the first didn't approve so she left, leaving her as the second, but only wife. I also heard that he was among the richest men in the city he lived in. I am being vague as a show of respect, hopefully I don't overstep those bounds. As people started talking of going to the wedding it was said that everyone would be invited, but I didn't actually hear that we all were until just days before. I made my plans to go with Leigh, Jane and Harry. Knowing that Leigh wouldn't steer me wrong in any way. Jane took me to a shop that sells abayas and I found one I really liked. So Thursday after work I showered and dressed and decided to go down to see, not only when we were leaving, but also if my dress passed muster. This is what I opened my door to...

Yes, that is my hotel... a picture taken right after stepping out of my room. It was straight out of a horror flick! Especially since we still had power in our rooms. Luckily there was power in the surrounding halls or it would have been much scarier!

Mr. Harry and his 3 wives, Ms. Jane, Ms. Leigh and Ms. Cara 

I don't know how to describe the wedding, I can say that it was an experience. We were greeted by a line of women, non of which I knew who they were. We then found our group from school and sat while they brought around huge two person trays full of all kinds of sweets and coffees and teas! It was more food than I could ever imagine and it was all before dinner! There were a few women who were dancing, but not many in comparison to the number of women who were in attendance.

Once dinner was served our table very carefully uncovered plates and put things onto our plates, while the locals literally dug into their platters! We were served camel and lamb, I actually tried some of the camel after two of my tablemates raved over the taste. It tastes a lot like pot roast, though Gramma's is MUCH better! 

This is the only picture I felt was ok to take of the hall as a whole. The case shown is one of two cases displaying the jewelry that was gifted to the bride from the groom. At the very end of the hall the wall was covered in white fabric and then beads were scalloped in front and up lit to change color. It was the only source of color besides the red carpet. Everything else was in white, light grey and silver. Over all things were beautiful especially the bride! It was a great chance to see some of my coworkers with their hair down, literally as they are all covered by shaylas at work.

This is the final picture of the night. I realized that I had gotten dressed and never took a picture before I put my abaya on for the night! But I'm super glad I had my abaya to wear as this outfit would have been far too revealing since no one ended up taking off their abayas as I was assured they would. 

Well I have SO much more to say about others matters so I will wrap this one up! 

A Little Bit Mine

I haven't felt much like writing because I don't want to only write about negatives and the positives are so hard to come by. Until today I hadn't even thought of taking pictures of my room. With the stark white walls, over abundance of boards (bulletin, smart, white), oversized desks, undersized chairs, and poorly placed teachers desk (which I cannot move due to cords and such) the thought of making anything like a classroom seemed impossible. For the first time today I felt like I was starting to see some kind of picture in my room...

This is to the left of my door... I put my calendar, months, days and the like up on the one chunk of wall that isn't marred by bulletin boards. The thought is that the "closet" there, or bookcase as we would call it will house my English stuff... yes I said English... like it's one subject... We currently are working on Jolly Phonics, which is a British phonics system... I kinda like it... though not my idea of teaching reading...

This is straight back from the board... The board on the left is for Science and the right is Social Studies, which I have NO idea what I'm teaching... Back home we can be much more creative... not because they don't want us to be here, but it's completely lost on the students. I was given this "social studies" book... copyright 1989... yep that's right it's over 24 years old! According to the info page it was last updated in 2009, but I find that hard to believe when I look at the pictures. 

The other side... now lets talk about the desks... if you can't tell... those desks are HUGE! And the chairs are tiny! For some crazy reason they gave 2nd graders the upper grade desks, like they didn't know that we were only going up to 3rd grade in our school. My poor students can barely sit with their arms on the desktops because they're so tall! Most of my kids do all of their work standing at their desk. I'm not sure if it would be better to get them the taller chars and have them not fit in them, but be taller, or keep things like this until they day we actually get proper desks. The board in the picture is my math board.

Here's the other side where my schedule is (though I had to hand write some... I should have printed blanks!) and pictures of the Sheiks (pronounced shakes). 

Here's my desk, which I cannot move because of the cords. There are no plugs in the walls, they're all in the floor and only in that one spot. I can't even have a lamp, or a listening station or anything like that because of they way they do the electrical. My desk is unfortunately right in front of the boards, which means that I can't keep the kids in their desks and do any teaching on the board! It kills me! Not to mention that there is no doc camera or anything to project manipulatives. 

This is my white board with my line up order and my behavior chart. It's only working so-so right now, but I hope to get it under control within the next couple of weeks. 

So... what else... Well I have a giant rolling white board for the Arabic and Islamic teachers, because they use the red and green pens which you know don't erase worth crap and then they leave it for me to erase.... like I have endless time to clean up after them! Each time I leave my class I have to lock all of my items away including pens, markers, pencils, stapler, tape... because if I leave it out someone will take it. Easy solution would be to lock the door, but that's not allowed. Oh and I can't turn off my lights either... the best I can do is turn off the back ones... it's a huge pain! I have no filing cabinet or way of making a portfolio on the students and no way of organizing my teaching materials other than the tray in the picture... I'm using the cabinets by the windows instead, which is a huge pain because it's just lots of piles. 

There are like 50 cleaners in our building daily and the place is still always dirty... and not because of stuff being tracked in... Coming over here you would never believe that this place is brand new!  Broken tiles, wobbly desks.. Oh and the doors! The doors are SO heavy my 2nd graders can barely open them. And they're not allowed to go to the bathroom without an escort. We're trying to get something figured out, but I have to stop class to take them to the bathroom, and 5 minutes letter they have to go again! It's absolutely ridiculous! 

On the bright side we got our housing assignments this week and we're getting our keys on Monday. Not that we can move in to our apartments, but it's another step. They said it could be another month before we get our furniture allowance. Which means maybe by Thanksgiving we'll be in our apartments.

For the record... I don't see myself staying past the year. While it's not absolutely awful being here... It's nowhere that I want to stay and I'm not happy here. I feel like there needs to be some measure of happiness. I'm existing here, and I'm safe, and the money is nice, but I don't want to be here and I'm not sure that it's worth it to stay just for the money. I feel like I've had my adventure and it's time to come home. So I don't think I'll come home to visit, but we'll survive and I'll be home before we know it.

The Only Way is Up...

The situation at work right now is so bad, I think I'd be willing to say that I've hit rock bottom. For now I'll focus just on the work and classroom stuff... I took a picture of my classroom on the last work day before the students were scheduled to come start their year.

Yes, this is what the rooms look like for 2nd & 3rd graders. The desks are too large, (though before the students came they did swap out the chairs for smaller ones), there is nothing on the walls (though they did put up the bulletin boards before Sunday), There is a "smart" board, but no pen to use it with, and the software doesn't allow us to work on our computers while displaying anything. 

I would love to sit here and tell you all about the amazing things happening to me here, but it would be a complete lie. The biggest part of me believes whole heartedly that this was a huge mistake and I wish that I would have known how many half truths were being fed to me. 

We finally got our teacher editions on Thursday (That's my "friday") for math, but not for any other subject. I haven't actually taught my children anything in the week they've been in school.  They've spent much of their time in front of the screen watching videos, and to be honest not educational ones, save for an hour in the morning when they do signing time. 

There was one day that my students had to wait an hour and a half to get their lunch. It's things like this that make me so disappointed. The communication is insanely non-existant, and I don't have a functioning clock or AC in my classroom. Now some of you might need a reminder that it's over 100 degrees everyday here... 

I was first given a roster of 6 students for 2C... Sunday 5 of them showed up and they added two more throughout the day. Because of understaffing midway through the week we had to take 2A and divide the class between 2B and my 2C. I had finally started to get an understanding of my class when they added 5 more. 

Then there's the staff... Now let me start by saying that I LOVE the people I share my "home" with... but I am SO aggravated by the people that "work" with me... yes I said "work." I'm talking about those who are never where they're supposed to be, don't get the work done that needs to be done and basically leave all of us hanging...

So my goal for this week is to get things put up in my classroom even though I don't have everything I need... 

One step at a time... that's what I need.

ORD Bound

My morning started after just three hours of sleep. I thought I'd get up early and give myself time to have a nice relaxing morning. It was a pretty good plan and so far I don't feel like I'm suffering for it... I'll be able to make up for it between my 14 hours in the air from Chicago to Abu Dhabi especially since it's just about bedtime when I land there at 8:00pm Saturday... which is 7:00am at home... making for just under a 24 hour journey (counting my layover).

Of course it wasn't as relaxing as I realized that there was no way I was going to get my stupid carry-on to weigh 15lbs... I finally just decided that I'd pay for it if I have to! Hoping beyond belief that I wont have to!

Dad helped me with last minute weight checks and we were off to the airport! Dena did a great job getting us there! She dropped us off at the terminal and went to the waiting area, so just dad and I went inside. Dad helped me get all my bags through the terminal and checked in.

Security wasn't a big deal, though it was much more difficult traveling alone! Trying to keep everything where I could see it and not take my hands off the things that were most important, namely my passport, boarding pass, backpack and laptop! I made it through no problem and headed for my gate.

At the gate I met a waitress who had showed up a little early for work and was waiting in the gate area. We chatted until it was time for her to head in and I went in search of a soda (which I've only taken a sip of... I really should have just put water in my bottle!)

That's when I headed to the counter to get my seat assignment and met up with Randell & Kaaren! I am SO grateful that I have people to travel with the whole time and we're actually all sitting within arms reach of each other! The best part was when I mentioned something about flying alone and he quickly responded that I wasn't.

My adventure has officially started. It's a little crazy to be writing while so high up in the air, but it was the very reason behind my purchasing a new keyboard for my iPad. I knew that while I was flying for 19 hours I'd be driven to write at some point. And while using this tiny keyboard isn't as easy as writing on my laptop, it's much nicer space wise. I'm half tempted to post this without editing it, but I also know how annoyed I'd be looking back. Somehow I got lucky and managed a emergency row window seat, which on this plane means i have an extra foot of space to my right! My iPad says it's 12:30 now, which means I've been flying for somewhere around an hour and a half. In that short time I've watched the first 10 minutes of a movie, drank a glass of sprite, started a logic problem, completed a "quote-falls," chatted with the guy next to me, seen numerous clips of Dexter season four while he was watching, opened a letter from Em, A LONG letter from mom, and a totally awesome {picture worthy} card from Gramma, gone through 10 napkins as I cried reading said items. Oh! And I've attempted to nap... that one's not going too well!

The Town I Love!

 Driving home the wee hours of Monday morning from dropping mom off at PDX I passed by a sign that has been an icon for my entire life. What my parents called the "White Stag" sign, I call the "Made In Oregon" sign. Of course in 2010 the sign was altered for what should be a final time to it's current state. It was while passing this sign in the dark that I realized that I didn't have a picture of it lit up. I then thought of another landmark sign in Portland that I wanted a picture of. Then I realized that I had to come up with someone who would be willing to wander the streets of Portland in the dark with me while I took pictures. That person ended up being my dad. After a long day in the 90 degree heat my dad agreed to meet up with me! We wandered 40 blocks, 2.3 miles, and roughly 2 hours.

From the parking garaged we headed to the Schnitz to snap shots of the Portland sign. We passed through Director's Park and I got to show dad the giant chess board and there was even a private party in the park...something about Salt & Straw... apparently they're a big deal ice cream something or other... We then continued down Park to Main to the Schnitz. The biggest disappointment was that the Portland sign at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall was not lit up. I snapped some pics any way and I'm fairly happy with the way they turned out. I wish I'd known the sign wouldn't be lit, because I would have headed out during the day to get this shot!

From here dad and I headed down to the waterfront to head for Old Town. We wandered down the waterfront, stopping to read a plaque about the 1996 flood wall! It was kinda cool, realizing that I remembered the storm and the news reporting on the height of the water as it rose and endangered downtown Portland. As we

approached the area that now houses the Portland Saturday Market I asked dad if he'd been down there since it had moved from its original location and he said that he hadn't. As we got closer I was trying to tell him where the rows of stalls were on the weekends while staring at an active fountain! That's right, while the market is open the fountain is turned off and turned on when it's not there! I couldn't believe it! It was a pretty cool fountain too! Dad got a little wet walking over the tops of the jets! We continued down to the "Portland Oregon" sign and I got the pictures I was after!

Once we had the pics I was seeking we made our way towards VooDoo for delicious sweetness! Before we made it there we came upon a couple who were snapping pics of each other. I figured since I had my camera out (obviously not a person who was likely to grab their iPod mini and run) I'd see if they'd like a picture of the two of them. So we took turns snapping pictures and I'm very grateful that we did! The ones they took for me were great!

We grabbed our doughnuts and headed back towards the parking garage! It was a great way to spend an evening and I'm thankful that dad and I had that last bit of time together!

T Minus 3 Days!

This is what it comes down to... less than 250lbs. Packing my world into three large suitcases, a carry on and a backpack. This is the result of multiple weeks and too many attempts to remember. I finally had to start with a whole new game plan to get it all to work. With the new plan I was even able to add in the table bins I was hoping to use... though I'm not sure that I am going to keep them in there... The two cases in the back are at ~67 pounds each and will not be adjusted before my flight on Friday. Yes, I said FRIDAY! The black case still has a little wiggle room, but it helps me to feel more in control of the situation knowing that I've got that space.

Today I circled a date on my calendar in marker! Yep, you read that correctly, marker! That's about as permanent as I get around here! My mom had a flight out this morning at 6am so she sat here with me while I stared at my computer willing Hisham to send me an email with my itinerary. I pulled up Netflix and started playing movies... starting with One for the Money, which I've seen, so I was anxiously watching my colleagues post that they were receiving their visa information. I then moved on to What to Expect When You're Expecting, which I hadn't seen so it kept my attention for a little while.

So many of my colleagues were posting that they were getting their information that I became a little overwhelmed, and started to get overly anxious. I decided that it was a good time to go and get some sleep. It was just about 0130 and I slept until 0320 when my alarm went off to get up and take mom into PDX. The first thing I did was check my email, it's been the first thing I do when I wake up for a couple of weeks now.

It was there!!! I jumped out of bed and came to my computer knowing that I wasn't going to process what I was reading as well on my phone since I was still half asleep. I quickly learned that I would be flying out on Friday, August 23rd. Now, if you know me well, you know that 23 is my lucky number, and if you know me really well, you might even know the specifics, but I digress. I fly out of PDX on the 23rd at 1055 and arrive at O'Hare (ORD) at 1650 where I'll have about a 4 hour layover. From here it's straight on to Abu Dhabi and the beginning of everything!

Well it actually will all start at O'Hare as my colleagues start arriving with me! It's totally awesome how we've all figured out that there are a bunch of us flying at the same time from ORD! It definitely relieves the pressure I was feeling knowing that I wont be getting off a plane looking for someone holding a sign with my name on it! Or not finding that person! I'm expected to arrive in Abu Dhabi on Saturday, August 24th after 7pm. Wow! I officially have 82 more hours left here! I cannot believe that I'm finally at this point! Wow!

*cnstars23@gmail.com if you don't have a google account for commenting*

Toodle-oo For Now!

Tonight I had to say goodbye to two of the most amazing women in the whole world! We had a great dinner at Olive Garden, including salad, breadsticks and awesome pasta!!! Our waiter was a super great guy who Gramma and I have had numerous times before. He even bought me dessert as a congrats on my travels! Jess and Em made me an amazing photo book filled with memories from our many years together! I refused to read the messages they had added while we were sitting there, but of course I couldn't resist when they both headed for the bathroom. So there I was standing in the lobby of the OG with tears streaming down my face. We had great conversation and followed it up with a trip to TARGET! Not that that's a big surprise, but hey! We picked up some more last minute supplies for my trip, markers, markers, and sticky tac and headed back to the house.

We had forgotten to take a picture while we were out so we ran to the room with the best lighting! It just happens to have an awesome backdrop! We looked through the pictures of what should be my new place and I stalled them until after 9pm. I wasn't ready to say goodbye... So with tears streaming I say toddle-oo. Until next time my friends! I love you both!

Just a Quick Update

For those of you who are reading just to see what's happing with my trip, an update. All's quite on my front. All of us newbies are anxiously waiting to receive our itineraries and find out when we fly out of our home ports. My being PDX of course! It's tough sitting here and packing and not knowing when I'm really leaving. I'm saying August 14th, but that's actually my expected arrival date and to arrive by that date I'd have to leave the 13th. We're reaching the end of Ramadan too which means everythign will close down for the holy days. If we don't have our itineraries before the 7th, we wont have them until after the 12th and that's a little bit scary. I'm trying my hardest to relax and just be prepared to go the 13th. Hopefully it will all work out as smoothly as others are saying it will!

Well that's all for now... we're down to 8 days... and I'm still excited, though still not accepting the fact that its' almost time to say goodbye to my life here.

A Totes Amaz Vacay-cay!

 I'm not sure where to start with this one... What an incredible trip... Starting with reading an entire Cosmo cover to cover... I know who does that right? Well we did, or should I say I did... I read the entire thing out loud to my besties while they threw in their crazy comments that had us laughing more than the written articles did! We made it down to Jess' parents house with plenty of time to hit the pool and get out swim on with Miss Aria while Neven chilled with Jess' mom.

After a great breakfast we got on the road stopping to search for letterboxes along the way! This picture is from a cemetery we found while looking for one specific box! We were looking for Italian Cyprus trees (right behind us!) and I took quite a spill in the mud! I had a bruise for the rest of the trip!

Jessica took the time to create collages for the three days we spent exploring so I figured I'd just use them instead of trying to pick just one favorite!

Our first day was spend at the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Safari! We spent the money to do the Caravan Safari which included getting up close to quite a few amazing animals, as well as feeing giraffes and attempting to feed some very stubborn rhinos! We were really good about stopping and taking pictures! For the big one of the three of us I braved setting my fancy new camera on a trash can to get a picture of the three of us framed just the way I wanted! I think Jess' pic with the lion is the best of the three of us, it's her face I'm sure!

Day two had us bummin' around Balboa Park and snappin pics of the awesome tiles in the Spanish Art Village. No secret that my favorite area was the area with the black and red tiles! It was such an amazing day despite my mid morning melt down. We wandered around all of the old buildings as we searched for a place to hide our "To Infinity and Beyond" letterbox. We went to the Seaport Village and got matching henna tattoos in the same design as our letter box and took a stroll to see the "Unconditional Surrender" statue. Though the sun wasn't necessarily at the ideal location for snapping pictures at and of the statue, it made for some great less conventional pictures!

Day three had us arriving at Disney California Adventures just as the park opened. We were so excited to see Cars Land, that the pictures make it obvious that it was our focus! I hadn't noticed that at first. It was such a great day, we got our tickets for World of Color, and actually got to ride practically every ride. At least all the ones we wanted to ride. Multiple times even! It was so great to be there one last time with my besties before I leave.

I don't know how to put the feelings into words. How I felt during and after this adventure with the two best friends a girl could ask for. I don't know what I'm going to do the next three years, forcing myself to explore and create my own adventures without these two beside me. I know that this post lacks a little emotion, well at least it does to me... but I couldn't do it when I was full of all of those emotions, it would have been a jumbled mess!

Roadtrippin' with Gramma!

6/27

6/27

What an amazing trip! Gramma surprised me at almost every turn! Starting with holding a giant purple starfish in Newport! A local crabber had caught this guy in one of his crab pots!  Gramma willingly let this guy put the starfish in her hand to pose for a picture! We spent the evening wandering around the Newport Historic Bay Front and had dinner at Mo's.

6/28 Day 2

Day two brought crazy shenanigans at the Wax Works museum, Ripley's Believe It or Not, and the Undersea Gardens. For places so cheesy, we had a blast! We made it all the way down to Coos Bay!

6/29 Day 3

6/29 Day 3

Day 3 we stopped at the Prehistoric Gardens, but decided that we'd much rather keep going to get to the Trees of Mystery faster! We did take the time to snap a pic by my favorite Dino! Mr. Rex! He was awfully photogenic, big toothy grin the whole time! We made it all the way to Klamath, CA on day 3 and found a room at the Lighthouse Inn. The desk attendant was a hoot and had Gramma and I sharing looks the entire time we were talking to him. We did look at like three rooms before we made our decision and dinner was just as bad. We walked out of the first restaurant as they didn't have anything on their menu that appealed to Gramma or me. We ended up eating at a steakhouse, I ordered a salad and potato and Gramma the Shrimp Louie! Great dinner!

6/30 Day 4

6/30 Day 4

Day 4 we got up and headed further south to see the Trees of Mystery. It was the first I'd actually driven through the redwoods and I was so amazed by the difference between the types of forests. Once we got there I was floored by the giant Paul Bunyan and Babe!  Paul was hilarious! My favorite was when he told a kid that he was a "violent, violent child!" for stomping on ants! That or when he made a comment about Babe enjoying what an adult girl was doing to his balls. We had a great time walking through the Trees of Mystery and hearing Paul Bunyan's tale! 

7/1 Day 5

7/1 Day 5

Day 5 we started back up the coast because it was so hot in the valley. We stopped at Cape Blanco and man was it windy! We decided to do the lighthouse tour and Gramma climbed all the way to the top! I was so proud of her! We got to hear all about the history of lighthouses and how the Lighthouse Keepers got their supplies and took care of the lights. The Cape Blanco Lighthouse is one where the keeper lived in a separate house with his family. The first women keeper was a woman who took over after her husband passes away. Too bad it was such a foggy day!


Day 6 we headed for home. The whole trip we had wanted to see a sunset and weren't able to. Either due to being tired or due to the weather. So the last day we stopped at Cannon Beach, got some food and settled in to watch the sunset. As soon as it dipped below the horizon we headed for the car and I took us home in record time!


I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to take this trip with Gramma. She has been such an important part of my life and I honestly don't know where I'd be without her. We've had our ups and downs, but overall I have learned so much in my time living with her. Leaving her and this house feels like leaving a piece of me behind and while I don't like that idea, I look forward to what my future may bring.

Beautiful

 Yesterday I found out that I was called beautiful by someone who has never told me to my face. It's not that I don't think he believes it, just that I don't remember every being called beautiful. Cute, pretty or nice if I've dressed up, but beautiful isn't a word I would have EVER used to describe myself. We're also referring to someone who forgets how easily words can cut a person down, especially when unintentional. There were other things said that were a contradiction to what I believed he thought and felt.

I love my dad, and I know that he's proud of me and that he loves me. It's just nice to hear the things that he's willing to express to others, even if he's unable to express them to me. Today I feel like a more beautiful me for knowing what I now know. I love you daddy!

To Bend and Back

6/19 Mirror Pond 

Last month I also took a week and went to visit my mom in Bend. We had so many ideas of things to do and I was super excited for all the fun plans. I got there late the 18th and we started our "trip" with manis and pedis! It was VERY overpriced, but enjoyable nonetheless. The next day we... well we tried to find some caves, but it didn't go quite as planned. 

After the caves we headed to the market and mom showed me the pond that the Deschutes brewery named their Mirror Pond IPA after. I snapped this shot as we were walking by.

6/20 Balancing Rocks

The next day we headed out for a horse back ride, I somehow didn't end up with any of those photos, but we had a blast anyway! After our ride we headed to the Balancing Rocks. The signs are no longer posted as vandals were destroying 20,000 years of mother natures hard work. Mom had been here as a child so it was kinda cool to see. Though I would have loved seeing it even more if I'd beat the fire that destroyed the fire which used to keep the Balancing Rocks from easy view. 

6/21 Lava River Cave

Thursday was an exciting day in the Lava River Cave and the High Desert Museum. The Lava River Cave was a blast and so was the museum. I never would have thought it would be so much fun, but I wish we would have started our day just a little earlier. We walked all the way to the end of the cave where there are signs that say that they had to close the last 500 feet due to severe injury and the bat population.

The High Desert Museuem was really cool, I didn't really have any idea what to expect. I think my favorite part was making up a story about the model mill for mom! Or the Otters... or the stagecoach... lol I don't know it was all cool!

6/22 Fort Klamath

The next day we got up early and headed to Klamath Falls to pick Brett up. It was a crazy long drive, but we finally made it and headed out to find some cool stuff to do! We poked around Fort Klamath, the best part being snapping Brett's picture as he was coming out of the jail! It's a great picture and my favorite from the batch.

6/22 Collier Memorial State Park

After Fort Klamath we hit some other places, but the best stop of the day was Collier Memorial State Park. This cabin was built by a pioneer who was killed before he had the chance to finish the building process! I think it's pretty neat that they left it in progress so that we could see not only how they were built, but also how dangerous things could be in those times. 

6/22 Collier Memorial State Park

I had a great trip with my mom and with Brett. Leaving them is going to be hard, but since we don't see each other often I feel as if things with them aren't really going to change all that much. It doesn't mean that I love them any less, I just have a different relationship with them. With mom it's a I can call anytime, ask anything relationship, and that works for me! Brett, well I've spent so much of my life taking care of him that I treasure him and want nothing but the best for him. I know that he's upset by my leaving, but I know that someday he'll understand that it's time that I do what's best for me. I love you both so much! 

6/22 Collier Memorial State Park