29 January 2017

Spiral

This blog... it's my healing place. My processing place. It's where I turn when I feel overwhelmed and the feelings just linger. For the last couple of weeks I have felt like a run away train. Speeding down hill and I don't know how to stop it. I'm not happy. I feel lost. I put on a brave face and keep moving. It's what is expected. It's what I have to do to survive. I don't know what's causing these feelings, but there's this sense of hopelessness that's just hovering over me.
It's like Eeyore's raincloud. It's following me around making things feel much worse than they are. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I feel like I'm on a travelator that keeps carrying me backwards. I am full on over-thinking mode. Nothing is EVERYTHING. My usual attitude is missing. All I hear is silence and the sound is deafening. I'm afraid. I don't like the dark, but I don't know how to escape it.

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